What's Japanese for "Awwwk-warrrrd?"

In honor of Hump Day (an oh-so-awkward phrase in English, only made worse when explaining it to a Japanese teacher), this post comes to you choc full of awkwardness. 

The Kitakami Sports Festival is this weekend, and that means schools have crammed all their classes into the morning so that the afternoon is given over to practice. What do they practice? It's not just about the sports: the peanut gallery is just as important as the players! Japanese cheerleaders are very different from American cheerleaders in a few regards:

1. No scantily-clad tweens twerking like Miley. Actually, it's just the opposite: students are covered practically from neck to toe. The uniform usually consists of a jacket that buttons at the throat and crisp white gloves. Gloves? Why gloves? Did Mickey Mouse design the dress code? This brings us to the next big difference...

2. Less gymnastics, more gesticulating. While that sounds dirty, that means "waving your arms around" for those of you sans the layman's terms dictionary. In junior high schools at least, mostly, the guys clap and wave their arms in crisp, precise patterns while screaming their uplifting message.

3. Guys? Huh? While in America, a male cheerleader is often considered a minority (and in some cases, an evil genius...in G.W.'s case, just evil), at every school where I teach, all the cheerleaders are boys! I don't know why, I couldn't explain it: maybe it's a macho thing, yelling your school's battle cry like William Wallace charging the British. 

So that being said, I was in the gym with the rest of the teachers, watching the school cheer on the athletes of their school, gearing up for the weekend's sports festival. While everyone was filing in, one of the male teachers was asking what I thought of Japanese cheerleading. 

"It's very cool," I said. "Very different from America. More boys cheer in Japan."

He nodded and hmm'd for a moment before saying, "Yes...but I like the girl cheerleaders better." 

Last week at another school, the second year English teacher asked me to evaluate the students' intonation and "th" sound pronunciation while they recited a passage of text. We stood in front of the class as he asked me the give a "thumbs up" for a good evaluation of the practice drill. But when it came to a negative evaluation, he faltered, trying to think what I could do. Naturally, I thought a "thumbs down" would be the natural counterpart, so with both arms high in the air, I made a silly face and two very VERY dramatic "thumbs down."

Half of the students laughed. The other half looked horrified. The teacher thankfully laughed.

"E to," he said. "Maybe no? This," he made the gesture discreetly. "Means 'to die.'" I basically just told my students their English was so bad, they could just do me a favor and drop dead. Greatness bundled in awesome, right here. 

I'll finish up with a conversation I shared with one teacher on the way to class today. As a foreigner, I'm prone to questions that seem a little obvious on the surface but are really a matter of cultural differences. The most common is the one he asked: 

"Do you drink? Do you drink alcohol?"

"Oh yes," I said. "Yes, I do."

"Do you drink every night?" I laughed and said not every night to which he came back with, "I drink every night. Sometimes a few beers sometimes more." 

"Well," said I. "I can understand that. You work very hard every day. Sometimes, a beer or two is a good reward."

He went on. "Yes, yes. Last night was very good. I drank a bottle of wine myself. It was...very good."

Hands in the air, even at my sorriest, I can't compete with that.